Murphy's Law As It Relates To The Garage
08-04-2004, 12:35 AM
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1000 Watt CAFz'r
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,649
Stolen from Road & Track.
The floor pan of an indifferently welded British roadster left abandoned in someone's backyard will hold up to 4 inches of water for three years without leaking a drop, but the water pump won't. Neither will the radiator, heater core, freeze plugs, hose clamps or heater valve.
A very slightly tarnished battery post or wiring terminal will pass no current at all until you carefully sand or scrape the surface to a high shine, free of all oxidation-and even then it won't always work until you wiggle it just so-while a stray horn wire, blowing around in the wind under your car, will somehow find a solid connection on a rusty, undercoated frame rail and either blow a fuse or melt your entire wiring harness.
One drop of spilled brake fluid on your newly painted fender will dissolve the 2-part acrylic finish in seconds and leave a big ugly spot, but a half gallon of Professional Strength Paint Stripper will have no effect on an old TR-4 fender that was painted by Earl Sheib in 1971.
A propane torch will not even light unless you have exactly the right gas flow and hold the match just so, but a pile of oily rags will burn your garage down with no outside help.
No floor jack lifts high enough unless you use a block of wood.
A car body will reject paint on any spot of primed metal you've touched with your supposedly oily fingertips, but the same paint will stick to the undersides of your fingernails for a month.
Packing fresh grease into wheel bearings by hand makes the phone ring.
Large springs are always 5% stronger than the person trying to install them.
Any toolbox you are able to lift by yourself is missing the tool you need.
[ August 04, 2004, 01:37 AM: Message edited by: bigmike216 ]
The floor pan of an indifferently welded British roadster left abandoned in someone's backyard will hold up to 4 inches of water for three years without leaking a drop, but the water pump won't. Neither will the radiator, heater core, freeze plugs, hose clamps or heater valve.
A very slightly tarnished battery post or wiring terminal will pass no current at all until you carefully sand or scrape the surface to a high shine, free of all oxidation-and even then it won't always work until you wiggle it just so-while a stray horn wire, blowing around in the wind under your car, will somehow find a solid connection on a rusty, undercoated frame rail and either blow a fuse or melt your entire wiring harness.
One drop of spilled brake fluid on your newly painted fender will dissolve the 2-part acrylic finish in seconds and leave a big ugly spot, but a half gallon of Professional Strength Paint Stripper will have no effect on an old TR-4 fender that was painted by Earl Sheib in 1971.
A propane torch will not even light unless you have exactly the right gas flow and hold the match just so, but a pile of oily rags will burn your garage down with no outside help.
No floor jack lifts high enough unless you use a block of wood.
A car body will reject paint on any spot of primed metal you've touched with your supposedly oily fingertips, but the same paint will stick to the undersides of your fingernails for a month.
Packing fresh grease into wheel bearings by hand makes the phone ring.
Large springs are always 5% stronger than the person trying to install them.
Any toolbox you are able to lift by yourself is missing the tool you need.
[ August 04, 2004, 01:37 AM: Message edited by: bigmike216 ]
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